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The Melancholy of Sakura Cobain
(Against a scrolling red background with the Ugly NI, '70s style JuGo, and NHK logo, Takashi Edwards says "This is Public TV For Isuten, on viewer-supported JOTO-TV and JOIT-TV." PUBLIC TV FOR ISUTEN flips in, written in Kanji, along with the Ugly NI and '70s style JuGo.) When last we met Pretty Cure, they got excited about the newest member of Pistols N Flowers. Apparently, Rizuka's father, Robin, was touring with Phony Nails Number 9 again. Meanwhile, Sakura Cobain placed first in the finals, and Shugo Kino was 3rd in her class. Her drama club's makeup artist, Haruki Korematsu, placed 5th. He introduced Shugo, and in effect the rest of the girls, to a nostalgic series of cartoons from Tanner Entertainment called Lark and Ciel. Sakura Googled Lark and Ciel and discovered that a 3D movie was in production. Tired of being tormented by Gacy, the minion with an F in evil, Ramirez headed back to Isuten, where she was wanted after a prison break, to raise some more hell. Her newest target was Chickenhead, the new recruit in Pistols N Flowers. Pretty Cure saved him, but he got an ulcer from the possession. This brought Sakura crashing down into a heroic Blue Screen of Death, which is where today's episode begins. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (OP: "Hopscotch of Love" by Lovely and Wild Angels) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Today's episode "The Melancholy of Sakura Cobain" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- We see the door to Sakura's room for approximately one minute. Then Tamaki appears and asks, "Are you coming out anytime soon?" "Piss off!" Sakura shouts from behind the closed door. Tamaki says, "Look, Sakura, I know you're upset, but can't you talk to anyone?" Sakura shouts, "The reason why I'm upset is because some Satanist gave Chickenhead an ulcer!" Tamaki is taken aback. "An ulcer!? That's not very major. It's not like he's out of commission for a long time." Sakura says, "He's recovering for a full week, and I can't seem to fathom how that could happen to a newbie in Pistols N Flowers." Tamaki says, "I know how you feel. In fact, I felt a hole in my heart when Lynyrd Skynyrd lost three members in a plane crash and broke up instantly. That's even worse than just losing one member." Sakura says, "If any of my friends call, tell them I'm not in the mood." Tamaki says, "All right." Then he leaves, leaving another one-minute shot of Sakura's door. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Pistols N Flowers is holding another meeting at the Roxy Recording Studio. "My friends," W. Benny Bara says, "there's black magic afoot in Isuten." The band was murmuring among themselves. "Black magic? How could that be possible?" Bara says, "One of us fell victim to an ulcer after being possessed by a demon and requires a full week for recovery, and until he recovers, we can't do any recording. "On a brighter note, we have a new drummer. Jo Futanari only recorded one song before leaving unexpectedly yesterday, although he left some arrangements for his successor to follow. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Chinese drummer wonder, Burai Manchu!" Burai Manchu stands up. He says, "I have many responsibilities as the successor to a Pistols N Flowers member, but I am confident I will fulfill them. I hope you guys will help me do so. That is all." "All right," Bara says, "let's give a big nihao welcome to Burai Manchu!" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- The atmosphere in Mansonia is decidedly less cheery. Kuroimetaru is practicing with his new handgun. Ramirez spots him and asks, "What in Lady Marilyn's name are you doing?" "Didn't you tell me?" Kuroimetaru asks. "One of the girls stole Zero's gun after burning him alive, and now that brat's using bottomless magazines against your Akumana!" "Really?" Kuroimetaru says, "I don't want the same thing to happen to me, so I'm just going to shoot that girl the next time, if any, I see her. "So I'm practicing with one of the handguns Zero left behind. And I'm doing a hell of a good job at hitting the center." Ramirez says, "I'll let Lady Marilyn know how good you're doing with your target practice when I learn of her plan to strike at the heart of Pretty Cure." Kuroimetaru says, "May Lady Marilyn be with you." With that, Ramirez teleports away. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Lady Marilyn is waiting for Ramirez, who teleports into her presence. "I'm ready to hear the plan." Lady Marilyn says, "I learned from Gacy's spycam that Robin Kuno has just returned from a tour of Japan upon hearing of Chickenhead's ulcer. "Apparently he's headed for the Roxy Recording Studio to announce his return. Your job is to patrol the studio. "Remember, Robin Kuno has long hair and a short beard, carries a Fender Stratocaster, and drives a 1980 Toyota Celica Camry. Be sure to note it." Ramirez says, "Long hair, short beard, Fender Stratocaster, Toyota Celica Camry... I won't forget." "Attagirl," Lady Marilyn says. "In fact, as soon as you see any of those characteristics, I want you to move in and possess him on sight." Ramirez says, "I won't disappoint. Oh, and Lady Marilyn... I just saw Kuroimetaru doing some target practice. He's hitting the center each time." Lady Marilyn asks, "Why is he in possession of a gun?" Ramirez says, "Because one of our enemies wields a .44 Magnum, which she uses to destroy my Akumana." Lady Marilyn says, "He's just become even more important a Reverend than you, but I'm saving the best for last. "Zero, the first Reverend I sent to destroy Pretty Cure, is now a pile of ashes in the real world. "Right now you're the one I'm deploying, then Gacy, and finally the best of the Reverends, Kuroimetaru. "Oh, and have you stayed out of jail?" Ramirez says, "Yes." Lady Marilyn says, "Well then, hurry up and get the job done, and don't get arrested again." Ramirez teleports out of Mansonia. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Outside the Roxy Recording Studio, Ramirez appears in a burst of energy. No sooner does she appear than a 1980 Toyota Celica Camry appears in the distance. Ramirez says, "That's not important, but what the hell?" The car parks, then Robin Kuno steps out. He notices Ramirez standing there. "Whoa! Satanist. Back off," Robin says. "Wait... demon or Reverend?" Ramirez says, "Reverend." "Whoa! Satanist. Back off." Ramirez just chuckles before possessing Robin without any effort. She says, "Lady Marilyn will be most pleased." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (Eyecatch 1: Rizuka and Shugo are jamming when Sakura runs past them and grabs the microphone. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.) (Eyecatch 2: The camera goes between Isuzu on her bass and Taiko in her drum kit and stops when Sakura with the microphone is in view. The PCHM logo appears in the bottom-left corner.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Rizuka receives a call. She takes one look at the caller ID and says, "It's my dad." She picks up the phone. The following is the resulting conversation: "Moshi-moshi?" "Prepare to meet thy doom." "Uh, Dad? You're not yourself today. Anything wrong?" "Prepare to meet thy doo--" Rizuka hangs up. "Christmas!" she shouts. "My dad's been possessed! I guess this calls for some Pretty Cure action!" She dials Sakura's number. The following is the resulting conversation: "Moshi-moshi?" "Sakura! Call the other Cures to Shugo's! There's been an emergency!" "What kind of emergency?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "Rizuka's father has been possessed." Sakura says this to the other four Cures with a grave look on her face. They all gasp. "Holy crap," Isuzu says, "what shall we do?" Sakura says, "We're going to have Rocky and Poppy use their sixth sense to locate Robin Kuno's present whereabouts. Rocky! Poppy!" At this, the two mascots appear. Poppy says, "He's headed for the Roxy Recording Studio." "As I suspected," Shugo says, her hands in her blue jeans pockets. "Nowadays the enemy only seems to strike at the Roxy Recording Studio. OK, Sakura, you make the call." "OK," Sakura says, "but first, get your gun." Shugo dashes out of the room and goes upstairs. By the time the others reach the door, she emerges with her .44 Magnum. Sakura says, "Let's go." The five Cures charge out of there in quick succession. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Ramirez looks behind the bushes near the Roxy Recording Studio. She says, "Excellent. Everything is going according to plan." However, just as Birnam Wood moved up against Dunsinane Hill to ensure Macbeth's defeat, five bushes move to surround Robin. Then, the five Cures burst out, exploding the bushes, and say their introductory phrases. "The musical genius with a voice that carries beyond all distances, I am Cure Nirvana!" "The pulsating rhythmical remedy to the universal Mansonian problem, I am Cure Stradlin!" "The bilingual rebel against Mansonia, I am Cure Hendrix!" "The classically trained musician who adapts herself to rock music, I am Cure Burton!" "The deadly drummer angel, I am Cure Roadie!" The girls then shout, "This is Pretty Cure!" Ramirez says, "Dammit! They showed up again. I should've known better than to underestimate Mother Nature." She had remembered that Macbeth was only defeated by a man not born of woman after Birnam Wood moved on Dunsinane Hill. Cure Hendrix sees her and says, "Hey you! I've got good news for you: you can only be killed by a Cure born outside of the United States or Japan!" Ramirez feels safe, saying to herself, "I'll let them live, then; they all look Japanese to me." Unknown to her, Cure Hendrix was born in England despite having lived nearly her entire life in the Tri-Cities. However, Hendrix will not tell her until the time comes for their final showdown in episode 26. Cure Roadie asks, "How did you know how she'd be defeated?" Cure Hendrix says, "I want to be the one that kills her, so I don't know if it's true or not, but still." Cure Nirvana fires a Pretty Cure Vocal Blast at Ramirez. It does nothing. Cure Stradlin then tries to hit her with a Pretty Cure Noise Distortion. It bounces back. Then Cure Burton tries a Pretty Cure Brown Note and Cure Roadie tries a Pretty Cure Cymbal Crash (and no points for guessing the result). "Think you're clever?" Cure Hendrix asks. "I told you so." Cure Nirvana says, "Rizuka, I'll leave the exorcism to you. He's your dad, after all." Cure Stradlin, playing a C-chord with her Cure Standard-Body Guitar, shouts, "PRETTY CURE NOISE DISTORTION!" The Akumana exits Robin, who collapses. Cure Stradlin runs to him. "Are you okay?" "Yeah, Rizuka," he says. "I just got a little drugged, that's all." Cure Stradlin says, "First, it's a Satanist that drugged you, and second, how did you know it was me?" Robin says, "You look like my daughter. Don't worry, I'll keep your secret. After all, I wouldn't dare betray my own blood." The Akumana shoots at Cure Hendrix, who aims for his chest and fires. TAK! The Akumana is destroyed, leaving behind a black, gooey substance. Apparently, Cure Hendrix must've thought the substance was the Akumana's innards, because the first thing she says after killing the Akumana was "I'll say this for him: he had a lot of guts." At that last word, Cure Nirvana vomits. Cure Hendrix says, "Right. Can't stand gore. Forgot. Speaking of which, you may have noticed already, but my scar is inexplicably gone when I'm in Cure form." Cure Nirvana says, "I almost forgot about that scar. I hope you can cover it tomorrow, when we go to Honeyasume Beach." Cure Hendrix says, "Remember episode 4? I told you how I cover my scar with bare arms." "Oh. Right." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Lady Marilyn is waiting for Ramirez, who is exasparated from her latest defeat. "They did it again--foiled my plan to get at Pistols N Flowers and a relative at the same time!" Lady Marilyn says, "Clumsy planning on my part. I should've counted on the bushes moving in a circle around that Kuno guy." Ramirez says, "Also, that damn gun-toting brat told me that no Cure born in Japan or the United States can kill me. Ironically, I felt relieved." Lady Marilyn says, "It was a wild guess, but she was right." Pause. "So, where do you want to wreak havoc this time?" Ramirez says, "I overheard that the girls are headed for Honeyasume Beach in Oriyama tomorrow. Apparently, the gun-toting Cure must love going to Oriyama, because it was there where she got her scar." Lady Marilyn asks, "How did you know she even had a scar?" Ramirez says, "Mind-reading." Lady Marilyn says, "Go to Honeyasume Beach, and do something to wreak havoc. Feed someone to the sharks, create quicksand pits... I don't care how you do it, just do it!" Ramirez says, "I won't disappoint." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (ED: "Raw and Wild" by Lovely and Wild Angels) ----------------------------------------------------------------------- (Next episode preview) SAKURA: The hell happened here? ???: I was casually strolling on Honeyasume Beach when suddenly I felt a malevolent force within the normally calm sand drag me under. SAKURA: And? ???: Before I knew it, I saw another start sinking. SAKURA: Must be a case of collapsing dry sand pits. Anyway, please be careful not to stumble into infected areas again. Next episode: "Shifting Sand Beach"! We're coming live and loaded!